Tommy from the Eastside writes,“Dear Auntie Evans…
I’ve been playing “the game” for some time now, and I used to play it with friends, but just recently everyone has stopped playing and I’ve had to carry on by myself. Of course, I never win with just me playing – but then I never won anyhow.”
Auntie Evans responds:
“Ah yes, the game, or more accurately ‘the game’. I used to play this too. The Game is, as we know, a hoax game, first introduced to St Neots by some hairy guy from Oxford in 2004 or thereabouts, in the Hare and Hounds. I used to love Monday Night Pub Night, getting wasted at sixteen years old, playing darts and looking for my glasses.
Then the game came along and I got hooked. Now, you might still be playing because, according to the rules, you cannot win – only lose. To be fair, you would have been warned when asking about the rules that you do not want to know, as once you start playing you cannot stop.
However, recently there has been a winning method developed. You’ll have to find someone else who is still playing. When they announce that they have lost, merely state that you have, indeed, won.
Of course, there is a chance that you weren’t talking about this game, in which case I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with playing with by yourself, even in a friend’s shed. In fact, your friends may be upset if you try to play with them, so just take a few little ones and watch that you don’t break your ankle.”
